He put mom & me through so much shit. He continues to. It’s these texts he sends that keeps me from throwing him out of my life completely, despite the fact that I should have kept him out of my life years ago.
I still hold out hope that *maybe* things will get better. That *maybe* we’ll have even a low-level functioning relationship.
It’s because of him that I am able to stand by people who struggle, to not give up on them during the darkness. To be some sort of stable presence if I’m ever needed to give love and support.
Which is a blessing and a curse.